Young, single (especially black ) women who boast about not having kids like it’s one of their biggest accomplishments are grappling to hold on to the little self-esteem they have left after reaching a certain age and not having a whole lot going for themselves…outside of not having kids. So they try to count that one fact as an accomplishment when really it’s not an accomplishment. It’s just a fact. A lot of single, childless women are lonely and actually wishing they had a loving man ( via marriage or not) who wants children with them and/or wishing to have enough money to afford a child by themselves. I know this is true because I hear women say it all the time in one way or another and it plays out on TV and movies (depicting real life issues) all the time. They’re fighting the inevitable feelings of insecurity when people start looking at them wondering what’s wrong with them for not having a man and not having kids. I don’t hear a lot of non-black women brag about not having kids. It’s interesting that I very rarely hear women in actual committed, long-term relationships brag about it. Even if they don’t want or plan to have kids they’re not the ones bragging about it. Career women who have actual accomplishments and not even enough time for themselves aren’t the ones bragging about it. I’ve never heard a lesbian or a gay guy single or not, brag about not having children. And it’s really interesting that there are a lot of single heterosexual men who say they don’t want kids now or ever, and they don’t even brag about not having kids to the extreme that a lot of single women do it. In fact, in most cases when I hear men declaring they don’t have kids, they’re actually bragging about not having any lifelong ties to any women they don’t want to be with forever. It’s not even the kid they’re denouncing having ties to, it’s the woman, and they’re usually making that point to show they’re eligibility to a woman.
Maybe, and that’s a huge “maybe”, in the world we’re living in today, a sexually-active teenager can count not having kids as an accomplishment because they’ve actually really accomplished experimenting with sex in some sort of responsible manner? Plus, let’s face it, when you are a teenager you’re not really expected to have had too many accomplishments outside of having a good GPA, getting your license, your first job, and getting accepted into college. In your 20-somethings though? If that’s all you’ve done, you haven’t accomplished shit. You’re probably feeling it too as all your friends are graduating college, starting real careers, getting married…or having kids. Don’t get me wrong, I think it really is a good thing when young women are responsible enough to not get pregnant before they’re truly ready to have a child, but I can’t applaud you as if you’re not having sex and aren’t putting yourself in the same position. I can applaud you if you actually aren’t having sex and putting yourself in that position. Among other things, that takes a lot of self control these days. We’re in times where it’s more common to have had an abortion and to call it a responsible decision and it’s less common to have not had sex. That’s some backwards shit! What’s more backwards is these young women who have had abortions, have nothing going for themselves, and bragging about not having kids. They are fighting the biggest delusions, and if I knew any personally, I’d be urging them to seek mental help.
All in all, I’ll say again, it truly is great that you don’t have kids you aren’t ready for, but it’s really not that great…I mean what else is expected? I mean I’m glad for you if you are glad for yourselves but the ones who are, aren’t bragging. They’re too busy accomplishing real goals like all of my childless friends 
Being childless really isn’t that great to the point of belittling young single mothers when many are more accomplished, more motivated, more beautiful, etc…
