While I was writing the post about Angelina Jolie adopting a 7th child I came across a November slideshow on Newsweek.com , titled “A Gay Family Album”. It’s exactly what it sounds like, gay families’ portraits. I thought it was an interesting and brave move on Newsweek’s part. A lot of people don’t even want gays to have families, let alone see pictures of them. I don’t have a dead-set, strong, opinion on gays getting married and adopting kids. I can kind of understand some people don’t totally agree with those ideas, and I understand why. I don’t understand though, why people feel the need to be so strongly against it. Personal decisions that don’t affect anyone else in large, should be left up to those people making the decisions. It’s not any of my business if a gay couple want to get married and have legal rights that heterosexual couples have. Ultimately, I feel that there is no more risk of a child being screwed up by being raised in a gay household, than there is in a child being raised in a heterosexual 2-parent household, or a single-parent household. I’m pretty sure there are cases in which a child is being raised by gay parents and are getting along a lot better than some raised by their heterosexual and/or single parents. If people are fit to be parents, they are fit to be parents. That’s not decided by your sexual preference alone. Kids are going to be teased no matter what. That’s a bogus reason to not let gays adopt.
This slideshow made an impression on me for another reason though. Out of 16 photos, there are several that show white couples with non-white kids. That’s why I related it to the post about Angelina Jolie in the beginning. It made me scratch my head. When just being gay already makes it hard to adopt, how is it, that white gay couples seem to adopt a lot of black kids? My black coworker said, “We don’t adopt our own. We give kids up for adoption more than we adopt.” I’ve never really looked into it, but I’ve honestly always believed most black women would abort a child before they carry one to full-term just to give it up. That may be totally ignorant, but I remember hearing that growing up. It would be justified by, “I wouldn’t just want my blood out there in the world.” I personally, have known many young women to get pregnant and wish they hadn’t (myself included), and all of them either had an abortion or had the child, if they didn’t miscarry first. I’ve even heard of friends of friends, purposely trying to miscarry or being negligent of their pregnancy. I’ve never known anyone personally, or heard someone tell me they knew someone who chose adoption. I’ll do some research on it, because I really want to know, but what do you think? Have you known a black woman to give her kid up for adoption at birth? The other sad explanation I thought about is, all the black kids that end up in the system after they’re taken from their parents. To me, this makes a lot more sense. I can definitely say I’ve heard of more black women having their kids taken away, than given away. On the other end, I rarely hear of black couples adopting, though I know at least one. I can believe white kids get adopted more often than black kids, especially if the case is that there are more white kids up for adoption and there are more white couples who adopt. Of course another possible explanation is that a lot of black kids adopted are not american-born, and that gays looking to adopt may be more open to the idea of adopting a black kid because they’re not trying to fool anyone anyway. Whatever the explanation for it it is, I feel like ultimately, if a gay couple wanting to adopt means, one less black child, or any child for that matter, can be adopted into a loving home, so be it.
I agree with you and feel that to deny gay couples the right to raise children is illegal. Afterall, how is it different from a mother/father who was once “traditionally” married then decides years later that they are homosexual….who BTW still jointly raises their child with the biological mother, although in a same-sex relationship.
In regards to african american women, it was actually announced yesterday that that althought african american women only make up 12% of the total population, they account for more that 80% of women who opted for abortion. Which given your previous post about the pregnant teens in the memphis high school, this seems unbelievable. Moreover, I think its also important to consider the adoption process. Excuse my analogy, but you almost have to think of the process just as you would when buying a car, home, etc…..one must have “good credit”. Aside the thorough background checks couples often endure while applying to be an adoptive parent, a review of annual income, living environment, and social environment all play essential roles in determing which parents may adopt.
Personally, I know of two black coupls who have adopted children. One is a RN and the other is the superintendent for regional church denominaiton. On the surface, it does not appear that they encountered issues with adopting (but then again, I’ve never really asked). I do however it is important to know that adopted “their own” african american children from the US. I am often extremely critical that the US is always the first to “jump” at aiding in relief to 3rd world and other foreign countries with the traditional “just 10 cents a day and you will…………” infomercials, yet we have over 2.6 billion homeless children to date, without adequate healthcare or educaiton. WTH sense does that make? Why are celebs so passionate about adopting foreign children when the realities of poverty stare them straight in the eye on a daily basis?